Vampires on the Net
by yasmincheesecullen
Summary: Alice makes a chatroom website, with some funny episodes. Slightly OOC
1. ALICE

_**ALICE POV**_

_Finished, I thought to myself vamps on the net, my brand new website, is finally completed. I should make my account now. I'm so excited, I wonder who'll make an account? _

**CREATE YOUR ACCOUNT**

SCREEN NAME: shopping-pixie

REAL NAME- Alice Cullen

LIKES: Shopping, Jasper, shoes, dress, designing vampsonthenet, being 'vegetarian'.

DISLIKES: Rules, chain store, Bella's fashion sense, maths.

ABOUT ME: Hey there, I'm Alice Cullen, the shortest, bubbliest, most spiky haired vampire you know. I love shopping. I value the human life, so I only drink animal blood! Vegetarians' rock! I'm happily married to Jasper Whitlock Hale and I live with my 'adopted' parents Carlisle and Esme Cullen. I have four 'adopted' siblings called: Bella, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie. I have an adorable niece called Renesmee Carlie, who has a strong bond with Jacob Black, a shapeshifter!

* * *

** (a/n, sorry it's so short, I'm going to make Emmetts next and hopefully all the Cullens etc, etc. I don't have a beta YET so that's why it's awful. And no, I haven't stopped my other works, this was just one of , my wacky ideas. Sweeney Cullen has reached writers block and Princess Renesmee shall be updated soon) **


	2. EMMETT

EMMETT.

_Wow _I thought to myself _a vampire chat room...this looks fun! I can annoy Eddie-weddie if he joins...which I'll force him to..hmm..what could I do? I COULD CAPTURE HIS WIFE! BOO-YAA!_

_I'll just make an account!_

SCREEN NAME: grizzly-emmett

REAL NAME- Emmett Dale McCarty Cullen.

LIKES: BEARS! Wrestling, being strong, college football, Rosalie ;), being a Cullen, messing with Bella, gambling.

DISLIKES: Having to use human strength at school, when Esme kicks Rose and I out, deer, when Bella beats me at arm wrestling

ABOUT ME: S'up peeps! Emmett here! Stronger than you since 1935! I'm part of the Olympic coven and I'm married to the oh-so-beautiful Rosalie Hale! I'm brothers with Jasper Whitlock Hale and Edward Masen Cullen. My sisters are Bella Swan-Cullen and Alice Cullen. I see Carlisle and Esme as a mother and father, I'm sorry for occasionally throwing wild parties! I have one awesome little niece, Renesmee and her little buddy, Jacob! I'd like to thank Rosalie for being the best wife ever, for finding me in the forest and NOT drinking my blood, along with Carlisle for changing me! I have dark curly hair and big muscles, and sometimes people feel intimidated by me. LOLZ! I'm not actually that scary!


	3. JASPER

**{A/N... So chapter three is up! BOOYAA! It was hard trying to write in the style of Jasper, because he's such an underestimated character!}**

**DISCLAIMER**

**Wait...do I need a disclaimer?**

**JASPER: YES...DO IT!**

**ME: But what do I say?**

*****Jasper uses his empath*****

**ok, ok I don't own twilight! Now Jasper, go back to looking constapated!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

_JASPER._

_The advertisement popped up on the screen. Vampires chat? How cliché! Some silly humans trying to pretend to be vampires! It's not what it's cranked up to be...unless there's a certain little lady called Alice Cullen in your life..._

_But as I clicked on it I realised it was for REAL vampires. It said 'are you sick of the Volturi?' 'Are you creeped out by the Romanians?' Join VAMPIRES CHAT!_

_Well...this could be fun! I clicked a button saying _**CREATE YOUR FREE ACCOUNT TODAY!**

SCREEN NAME: emotional-empath

REAL NAME- Jasper Whitlock Hale

LIKES: Alice ;), The Cullens, Betting with Emmett, my new family, not being tempted to kill Bella!

DISLIKES: slipping up..., high school, depressed teenagers...I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! , Maria, anyone who hurts Alice, people calling me depressed and/ or emo.

ABOUT ME: Hey there! It's me, Jasper Whitlock Hale. Being the newest to the...Cullen's 'diet' I tend to look in pain and/or constipated! I KNOW, GROSS. So sometimes I...slip up...don't hate me!

I'm covered in scars from those pesky newborns I had to train. Let me tell you, they are violent. Never train newborns. Alice Cullen is my life! I live with my wife Alice Cullen, my 'siblings' Edward, Emmett and Bella and my 'twin' Rosalie Hale. I have a niece called Nessie. I'd like to thank my amazing future-seeing wife-Alice- for introducing me to The Cullens. I've never met two kinder, more understanding people than Carlisle and Esme. A round of applause for them!

I'm an empath, so I know how you feel about everything. I have majored in philosophy but, seriously? Can anyone make a career out of that? From my old life, Peter and Charlotte have remained my friends. Well...that's everything...I guess. So... bye!


End file.
